When Grump Ordered Pappu Mutra

When Grump Ordered Pappu Mutra

The morning had started that night. Even here. And Dick Grump was up surfing TV channels. Tweets were waiting and material was being searched on live TV early at 6 am. That was the new tradition that the proud and great country of “Divied States of Gomerica” had come up with. Tweetomacy was the new diplomacy. And no one could do it better than Grump.

Secret Service had set up channels from foreign countries as well. And the erstwhile country of Gandhia was changing. Name was changing to Modia as was the way things were done! And there was one drink that was becoming the biggest hit since “

Chehru Spittle

“. Chehru was the old Maharaja of Gandhia. His forefathers probably had a different last name at some point – Tehru, but apparently his great grandfather was being himself and acting fresh with a local barmaid and public beat him up and chanted “Chaman Tehru”. T went away and ‘Ch’ became the mainstay of the family name and deeds. And fooling with barmaids runs in the family.  The new drink was Pappu Mutra!


Grump wasn’t happy as he, the original and most popular purveyor of “Golden Showers” saw an ad in the local Gandhia, now Modia country’s Home Shopping Network. Of Pappu Mutra. This Mutra was the greatest tonic since Chehru’s spittle hit the shelves of the local nawabs’ special local mart. And, it came in a delightful “Aloo to Sona” flavor, which was hard to resist for Nawabs who had grown on rather bland spittle from the grand old man! And, lets be honest – spittle was passe for this rather loyal following after so many years!

Someone was actually creating history with the showers at the other end of the globe and Grump couldn’t bear that. And the reviews of this new drink were going through the roof.

One popular Nawab turd-collector called Lunjit Bhurjewala couldn’t stop gushing over the new drink! “It has increased my vision manifold“, he said! “Now I can see things that I could never see.” he proclaimed. The reporter – Tadka Phutt asked excitedly “Wow, me too, but you tell our viewers – like what things?” Bhurjewala jumped gleefully and said in a sing-song tone “I saw a unicorn… I saw a unicorn!!!” Ms Phutt was shocked “Reeeeaaally??!!! and I saw a unicorn baby too!!!” she said half excited.. “just a baby though!” Sad at the toddler visions.

You know what, Tadka? You need more of the Pappu Mutra dose.. then you will see a BIG unicorn. Who knows, even two!!” Lunjit said clapping his hands and jumping excitedly to make Ms Phutt feel better.

Dick was grumpy at this new world that was unfolding in front of him. He pressed the buzzer with a vengeance and called all the aides in the Tight House, the official residence of the President of Gomerica. “Hey you bastards, I want THAT.” pointing to the Pappu Mutra. “Its the Rolls Royce of Golden showers!” As the aides strained their necks to look at the ultra-chic bottle of the new drink.

“I want to see at least 3 unicorns”, Grump declared leaning back, smacking his lips!

Featured Image: The statue Manneken Pis located in Brussels by Niels Mickers

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