Last week a girl from Almora committed suicide over an MMS. It was believed that she had done so because of her board exam results, but subsequent information says that it was because of an MMS of her with a guy which was floating around. Though some say that “there wasn’t anything” in that MMS, but she took it hard on herself. Probably betrayal may have been a greater contributor than the “sensational” element of it.
Girls committing suicide when they are betrayed by their boy-friends is becoming more common than ever. Even when the boys they are with don’t betray them, sometimes the videos or photos get leaked unbeknownst to both. Irrespective, the society places far greater importance on the sanctity of girl’s virtues than that of the boy.
The world of such sexual MMS’ and their impact on a girl’s life was first “introduced” in India with the DPS Scandal. It was a 2 minutes and 37 seconds video shot on the phone in 2004 by two classmates while they indulged in extremely explicit sexual acts. The video clip was circulated everywhere and was even put on Baazee.com – which later became ebay.com – for sale!
The students later admitted that the sexual act and the act of creating a video of that was consensual.
What happened to the guy and the girl? Since they were from the upper middle class or rich circle of Delhi, they got relocated and the lives of both were probably saved. But it doesn’t happen like that always. Just a few news clips from recent past shows that girls ended up committing suicide.
- Girl Attempts Suicide over MMS clip in West Delhi.
- 16 year old girl commits suicide over MMS of her sexual act with boy of village
- Siliguri girl commits suicide after boy-friend circulates MMS of them in bed
Even when they are rehabilitated and changes made to their lives, the past still haunts them big time. Like this story shared by a commenter on Reddit suggests.
Here are some more stories of girls who were thankfully helped by those around and could lead a normal – or semblance of – life.
One has to understand, that in this day and age of ready and handy technology, there is also a huge world out there of hacking. Hacking allows unscrupulous people to get pictures and videos that some folks wouldn’t want to share. Like the Fappening scandal in Hollywood – where a hacker posted nude pics of celebrities that he got after hacking their machines!
Sometimes, however, just plain foolishness leads to situations that can lead to baring the pictures and videos that should be private!
As it is the tech world is very dangerous. On top of that, using it carelessly can lead to extremely unfortunate situations.
Blaming the Victim!?
But who is to blame? In this randomly done survey, it seems the Indian public at large, like every crime done against a woman… blames the woman! Even women blame the girl involved… who is actually the victim from broad social standpoint. Why? Because “she should have taken care”. Just as the men and boys were driven by hormones, so were the women and girls in the videos. Don’t they have that right to explore their feelings and desires as men do? Then what is ok for a man, how can that become not ok for the woman in the video?
So what should be done to tackle this MMS menace?
Just one Youtube or Google search of MMS Scandals India shows so many videos and photos with couples in extremely explicit positions. It seems very clear that MMS leaks and scandals are not going away and are “here to stay”. Whether gathered by hackers or shared by boy-friends or others. Given the volume of all that, it is well-nigh impossible now to make it a law and order issue by arresting or closing down people/cafes involved in that.
As porn stars like Sherlyn Chopra and Sunny Leone become household names and are on family TV, the battle to shape the “social morality” by appeal or law enforcement has been lost. The society and those who are caught in this web willy-nilly and bear the brunt, need to find other ways to handle it.1
First thing – the needs and desires are universal and strong at certain times for people needs to be understood. Intimacy is not an invention of this smartphone generation. But it has been there since humans found pleasure in being together. Intimacy is a natural thing. Just because those moments become public does not mean that the intimacy of those two consenting adults are any worse than your own! So let us as a society grow up and admit to it. With most of the religions – specially the Victorian sensibility and Islam – making women bear the brunt of man’s libido, it is important that society grows up beyond the puritanical influences of the religious hypocrisy. One wishes there were other ways, but in these times, there is no other way than to leave the prudishness aside. The more something seems “secret” or “restricted”, the more the urge of “risk taking” youngsters to indulge in it.2
Second thing – Family and friends of the victims need to create a helpful circle around the involved. It is important. Even where sex and intimacy may not be taboo, it is not easy to handle a public breach of intimate moments and one’s nudity. It is extremely difficult to see one’s private moments plastered all over the internet and every person one meets undressing you mentally. Society may stop taking someone with such lack of judgment seriously and make fun of him or her. That is why those who are close need to circle around them right away.
Only if we change the social mindset the way its inner workings are changing and also create a helpful atmosphere for those who are victims, can we have a place where young girls do not have to lose their lives because someone betrayed their trust.