There was a time when I was seeking without a Guru. I had decided I won’t go to one. At that time, he called me a “confused guy”, because “I couldn’t make up my mind what was right” as I would read up and appreciate every Enlightened Master from Vashisht to Krishna to Osho to Krishnamurti. Little did he know that it wasn’t the Gurus whose words I read who were the main attraction, but the wisdom in their words that drew me on. Lifting the lid of their personalities and linkages, I wanted to delve deep into their wisdom. There was a thread that went through all of them, and it is that thread that I was following. But how do you explain to a guy to whom J. Krishnamurti, Osho, Nanak, Krishna etc seemed like personalities separated by oceans. He was missing the point completely.
Then, I got initiated into Spiritual path by my Guru, Sadhguru Jaggi. For me it was like finding what I was looking for. I experienced myself like I hadn’t before. Now, its not the wisdom that I am seeking – although listening and re-listening to the words is a nice “playtime”. I now seek dissolution. Nothing more. I know wisdom is not the way. I know this because I have established it in my self very clearly. When my love and respect – deep as it is – shows in my interaction, he is again “deeply disturbed”.
Now, I am “brainwashed”, he concurs.
Either way, he wins. I lose every which way.
When I am following the thread, I am confused. When I realize – AFTER following the thread (and that is the ONLY way you can really KNOW it!) – that it is a futile exercise, if you have someone like Sadhguru to take you there; I am brainwashed.
Because he has made a judgment. A judgment of how a Guru should be like. This guy is a wise person. As the critics always are. He can prove a lot of things. Derive the toughest of theorems. Its all easy. So logic based on “principles” that he has gathered from here and there sieved through his prejudices, has been firmed up as the way to live this life. Nothing escapes it. And unfortunately, nothing seeps in as well. After so many years he is as bankrupt of moments of bliss as someone who was the greatest materialist in town.
There is a difference between masturbation and sex. Wisdom of words and books is masturbation. Experience is a doorway to divine, if you can harness it. Sitting on the Space Station you can keep writing tomes about gravity, without experiencing it, but it means nothing!
Imagine the greatest Spiritual authority you can think of. Let’s say, Krishna.
If you were in a room with 20 people, and if Krishna happened to sit amongst them. How would you know if and whether he is even there? If on the street Krishna walked past by you, would you know that?
If the ONLY clue you have to Krishna’s presence is the 3rd rate Calendar art that you see everywhere, then your love and devotion to Krishna is nothing more than nonsense. Krishna’s get up – his head gear, his feather, his flute (he never played it beyond 11 years), and his clothes – didn’t make Krishna what he was. Those things assumed importance in popular culture because HE wore them.
And, from Bhagwad Gita we know that his body was inconsequential as well. So, what made Krishna what he was? Or in other words, who or what was Krishna?
Those who are wise of words will say his “Atman”. Some others will say his energy. Let’s call it his core self. A self that stays on without the body. That is what made Krishna what he was.
If that core self / Atman / Energy was in some other body and some other clothes; would you have a clue? And, it is not easy guys. There is a limit to logic in spiritual pursuit.
After all, outside of Vrindavan; only a handful recognized or accepted for what he was. Heck, over 100,000 people fought against him from the other side in Mahabharat. Obviously, they hadn’t realized what they were upto. What makes you think that if Krishna came today and a Mahabharat was underway, you wouldn’t be fighting him again?
I have taken the example of Krishna, but you can take anyone’s example and ask yourself. Do you have it in you to recognize the core self of the Master you love or worship?
How would I know if Krishna was in my room? This, is the biggest question for me. Unfortunately, I am not prepared. My defenses are too high! I cannot receive him. And that is the most damning realization on the path to Spiritual liberation.
Sadhguru makes it easy for you if you give him only a fraction of a chance with just a little receptivity. He barges in. His “touch” which makes you long for more – and something that I cannot explain – makes you feel ashamed as well. Because he is so blatant. Shamelessly blatant. Because all he wants is to give us a glimpse of the answer to the question I am asking. So that we may, at some point, ask the real question, and let Sadhguru be “real” with us. Even though, he needn’t be doing this for us. We really aren’t at the level where we can really deserve this.
My misfortune is that despite that, my receptivity hasn’t reached a point where I can know for sure that Krishna (or Sadhguru, if he was there as someone else) – is in my room.
And, that is the question I want to ask of all the “wise religious men”. How would you know if Krishna was in your room?