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Power dynamics in relationships reveal that, just like men, women can use wealth and influence to exploit men, challenging common perceptions
When one gets power and money, what does one go for? For so many centuries and millennia, whenever the kings or warriors or the rich got power and unlimited money, they have always gravitated towards sex. Sexually exploiting the other sex. Whether it was a king who took the women in his haram or a military warrior who beat an adversary and took women as booty or today’s CEO who exploits his subordinates.
But what about women? Do women also go for sex when they get power and money? Or is it more of a man thing? Women demanding and forcing sexual favors from men, when they have money or are in positions of power is something that rarely ever becomes the topic of discussion.
Thinx CEO Miki Agrawal started a company for ‘period-proof underwear’ and was hailed for empowering women and destigmatizing menstruation.
But in 2017, a case was filed against her for sexual harassment. Charges included her talking openly about (echoed in interviews with multiple employees):
the size and shape of her employees’ breasts, an employee’s nipple piercings, her own sexual exploits, her desire to experiment with polyamory, her interest in entering a sexual relationship with one of her employees, and the exact means by which she was brought to female ejaculation
That was not all. Employees reported some crazy stuff about her that sealed the case against her.
Agrawal allegedly had an obsession with one employee’s breasts, touching them without permission and asking her to expose them. She was also accused of holding routine video conference meetings while naked in bed and frequently changing clothes in front of employees. Such behaviour would warrant anyone speaking to a legal firm (such as Essaylibrown.com) to see if they have a case, as this is not acceptable workplace behaviour.What’s more, there are reports that she conducted at least one FaceTime meeting while sitting on a toilet…
Sexual harassment is more prevalent than we think.
According to a 2015 survey, one out of three women between the ages of 18 and 34 experiences sexual harassment at work. Of those women, 81 percent of them have experienced verbal harassment, 44 percent have received sexual advances and unwanted touching, and 25 percent have dealt with lewd texts or emails. Meanwhile, 75 percent of women were harassed by male coworkers and 10 percent by female coworkers. (source)
Of course, we all know about Harvey Weinstein and other male bosses who have exploited women and in some cases given them some career benefits. But how many cases of men being exploited by women bosses come out?
And, that is the tragedy. Because sexual exploitation is expected to be only one-sided. In Miki’s case, it was a woman exploiting other women. But there are many cases of women bosses exploiting men. Or women making sexual advances to men.
In thousands of years of Chinese history, there has been only one Empress – Wu Tse-Tian (Wu Zetian). And she had her own ways to make men feel they were weak and worthless in front of her. She, of course, had many male concubines in her harem, but her treatment of the court officials and visiting dignitaries was unparalleled, even by male kings!
In an account of Wu given in “The Cradle of Erotica” (Allen Edwardes and R. E. L. Masters), the Empress saw sex and power as being closely related. For this reason when holding court government officials and visiting dignitaries paid homage to her by licking and kissing her sex – which she called “Licking the lotus stamen”, a symbolical display of her superiority over men.Near contemporaneous prints show Wu parting her heavy imperial robes, exposing her small sex, while a man kneels to lick her vagina. One account claims her sex tasted salty; another that it had the texture of crushed pearls. Yet a third suggests she tasted of the willow-coloured water from the dragon-pond outside the palace…Even when menstruating courtiers were expected to kneel in homage to Wu. And frequently, it was said, the supplicant would be expected to continue his ministrations until the Empress achieved her climax.
When power comes and it has to be demonstrated and perpetrated, the instrument of choice has always been imposed sex on those who cannot question or target the powerful. Throughout mankind’s history, the ultimate ‘victory over another’ has been via sex.
It is like a conquest. The territory is the body in this case. Just like sex by embrace is love, but by force is rape; it is the same with the land. Either you can embrace a land or conquer it. Power always conquers.
Louise Noakes of Women Against Sexual Harassment (Wash), a London-based helpline said –
In 1985, Wash had 105 clients, all women. In 1991, it had more than 6,300, including about 1,500 heterosexual men. Many would have been young men teased by women at work, but there are also cases of harassment by a female boss.(source)
Wash found that it was more difficult for men to come out with their exploitation than women because very few will be believed. In fact, it has been found that men also feel that they will be mocked by their friends and colleagues.
Some stories shared by men follow the same pattern that ‘men on women’ exploitation follow.
You see it always starts harmlessly and then it picks up. In some cases, of course it can be pretty upfront as well even in case of female bosses.
Statistics and studies are common about how women are harassed and have to undergo sexual exploitation.
For example, 15% of women workers have slept with their bosses. And 37% of them say it was good for their career!
34% of executive women claim they know a female colleague who has had an affair with a boss. Furthermore, 15% of women at the director level or above admitted to having affairs themselves.
And worse, 37% claim the action was rewarded: they said that women involved in affairs received a career boost as a result. (source)
Interestingly, here are some stats for both sides from Canada.
Of the 28% of Canadians reporting sexual harassment at work, women tend to be victims most often. In fact, just 12% of men have experienced being sexually harassed. Compare this to the much higher figure for women, which is 43%.Young men were the least likely be targets (9%), while nearly half of women aged 35–54 (47%) reported being harassed.
So there is some evidence and statistics, but not nearly enough.
Exploitation is just that – either way. And, power is what creates that. Throughout history. And it continues. The #MeToo movement was a good way to bring out the advances and exploitation of women by men, specifically those in power, but that did not discuss or focus on the exploitation of men by women.
Really speaking, in all these so-called ‘movements’, everyone misses the central cause. And focuses on the outrageous. It is a critical cause that needs to be addressed. Movements side-step that.
The central cause is the vices that spring from power. When power comes, what does one – man or woman – do? Conquest or Embrace?
Whether it will be conquest or embrace will depend on the level of consciousness of the one who gets power. Raising that is the key to fighting exploitation. Of any kind. Exploiting sexually or imperialistically.
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