Who doesn’t love a cute kid who can never get it right? About a month back, this kid suddenly became the talk of the town. Ever since he was born, he led the life of a prince, who could do whatever he wished, whenever he wished. And then suddenly, came this big bad man with a 56-inch chest and took away all the toys from our prince. His life changed all at once! Rahul Gandhi, OUR prince, was suddenly looking down at his little potty-training pot and cried out loud! “Mommy, its the morning of the night and I can’t clean it. HELPPPPP!!!” His Mommy was aghast. Not that he couldn’t clean his sh*t, but because the prince had lost his marbles… errr… the count of hours. Night or Morning? What now?
The last few months had been so tough. Modi, the big bad wolf had been sending her son roses every time he stepped out of the house and opened his cavernous mouth. When the wolves start loving every word your little teddy bear prince vomits, it is time to keep him home. So Sonia mamma gave him Chandamama and DS with Mario to be happy. What a time it was!
One day, during her local rounds, Sonia mamma forgot to shut the house door properly and our little prince Rahul, escaped! A search party was sent to look for him. Meanwhile he had made his way to Anand Uncle. Anand kaka was on the stage busy discussing ways to save himself from punishment. Lest he goes missing, Anand kaka called out to the prince and positioned him to sit down. Our prince was angry. He hadn’t eaten for days now. Had not seen another soul. And here, was playing with law? How dare Anand kaka do what he liked. He hated everyone – Sonia mamma, who wouldn’t let him out, and Anand kaka, who could do what he wanted outside. Rahul baba went to Anand kaka and said “Anand kaka.. Anand kaka… mujhe bhook lagi hai, ice cream khilao na!”. Little did he know the gravity of the work that Anand kaka was doing. But, princes don’t wait! He picked up the papers from the table and quickly tore them. By then he saw Sonia mamma’s trusted bawarchi (chef) Diggy mian, the one who cooked up a lot of things, come into the room. He knew it was time to run. After he had torn the papers – “Story book ke hain, Anand kaka?” he had even asked – Rahul baba escaped from the back door, with Diggy mian in pursuit shouting “Wapas aa jaao beta. Koi tumhe tang nahin karega.” He was finally found hiding under a boat on Yamuna. The high tide had risen the boat!
When Sonia mamma wanted to tell all her relatives and friends on how lovely her prince was, she had proudly exclaimed “My baba na.. my cutie pie? He can even speak in front of so many people!” And then she went ahead and instructed him “Chalo Rahul Beta.. kuch bol ke dikhao na Uncles ko”. And… Rahul baba spoke.. how everyone he knew had a boat, but it couldn’t rise. Because there was no high tide. Now, it was high tide and his boat rose was exposing him!
Diggy mian took him back home. “Rahul baba! Kitne baar kaha hai bahar bhaag ke nahin jaate! Ghar baith kar ‘Ludo’ khelo. Mazaa aayega!”
It had hardly been some months, when another “bad Uncle” Arvind Khaansiwal sent people to take away all of Rahul Baba’s GI Joe’s. Not just that, Khaansiwal fellas had even taken away his cute “My Little Pony” collection. Now our poor prince was left with zero toys. Nothing!
He had then decided, that he would not be tricked into going back home by Diggy kaka with the promise of jalebis made by Sonia mamma! No matter how much he loved them! He had decided to … RUN AWAY! Yesssss!!! Where?? Aah, that was a secret! He couldn’t tell that to anyone.
Meanwhile Sonia mamma wanted to put her prince in the “Big School”, where all the big boys went. After all, her little baba had grown up now. My Litttle Pony se khelta hai to kya hua? He was a Prince after all bhai! White horse na sahi pony hi sahi!
One night, when no one was alert; Diggy mian was knocked off by his own badly cooked soup and Sonia mamma was crying in her room, as usual, our prince escaped!
Through the dark of the night and the heat of the day, the rains of the plains and the high tides of the oceans which made the boats rise, poor Rahul Baba ran, swam, and crawled. Into oblivion!!
Everyone is worried and trying to bring him back!
Salma Hayek wants him back
Salma Hayek loves “desperados!” Ask Antonio! Even of the Italian variety. After all if the Colombian women can suff
er an Italian kid, this super hot Mexican can deal with anything! Ever since she had heard of Rahul baba, she had been totally F(r)ida over him! Now her love for him couldn’t be controlled! She wanted him back. Desperately! Lola wanted the Indiano after her appetite had been whetted by that silly Americano!
Salma is roaming all over the world to look for her new kiddo Balma!
Italy is mourning too!
Meanwhile in Prince’s Nanke (mother’s home town) – everyone is dismal.
The Sad Lion of Naples doesn’t know where to look anymore! Look at his morose and forlorn look.
Italians are a strong nation though. They know they will win ultimately. Even cross-dressing nuns are confident of his home coming!
Meanwhile, Rahul baba has surreptitiously made a video while in hiding! No one knows from where. But just like the notorious ISIS videos, the background has been expertly camouflaged even here. It is a heartfelt video where our prince has shared the woes that made him run away.
India, how could you have done this to Rahul – the “My Little Pony” loving Prince? How could you, I ask? Now, listen to his agony and burn and weep!
Image Source: Flickr